omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
You took a bar mat shot.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
