Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize
