I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
