He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize