Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Randomize
