So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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