I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
