Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize