the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
