If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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