We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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