yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
