i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Watching her eat just hurts me
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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