You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
