He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
