I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
