She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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