it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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