sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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