Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
North Korea, Best Korea!
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize