I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
