The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
