I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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