And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
