i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
