oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
