i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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