Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
