absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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