do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize