You made me cry and you don't even care
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
only if we run a train.
done.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
