Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
