Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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