you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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