I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
