weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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