we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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