i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Fuck appropriateness.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
