hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
We named our party play list daddy issues
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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