Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
