after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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