1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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