i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
