I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
