yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
