If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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