i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
