Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize