Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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