So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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