I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
