party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
