People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
