haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
