How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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