There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Randomize
