Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
