Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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