just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
