Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize