Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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