i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
