i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
