i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
