I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
