I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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