i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
