Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Randomize
