The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
