We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize