no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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