I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
