My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
