The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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