Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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