But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
As shirtless as possible
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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