after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
All the doctor said was why
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
