If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
