Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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