So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
